Well, here we go! I am starting to write this on Otis’ actual due date! Our sweet babe made his arrival twelve days early and I want to write this while everything is still so fresh in our minds! I wasn’t originally planning on sharing our birth story, but I think it’s something super special to document and apparently people really like reading them!

The Saturday before Otis was born we had a false alarm and thought we were going into labour (I thought my water broke) We went to the hospital and got checked out and had a really good trial run for the real deal! Scary, but effective for sure. At this point I had a number of things happen that lead me to believe we may be having this babe early. But after the false alarm and our check in with our O.B on the Monday, it seemed as though all was good and we were on track for him arriving whenever the time was right. I wasn’t dilated yet and it would be a waiting game.

I started thinking we’d be on time or probably late (since so many people talked about how women were usually late for their first) I really had a mindset that he’d be late because of this I feel! However, on Wednesday, November 6th just before 11:00pm, my water broke (for real this time!) and really made me realize it actually didn’t break the previous Saturday (lol) - they say something like only 15% of women have their water actually break and that it’s nothing like the movies (aka water pouring out in a dramatic way) except it totally was for me! Hahahaha. It’s tough because they say it can be anything from a trickle of water dripping down your legs, to it literally gushing out. Hence the amount of women who are unsure about their water breaking.

Once we realized it was for real this time, we started getting everything together to head to the hospital. In true downtown Toronto fashion, we took a Lyft. We didn’t mention we were in labour to our driver, but I was definitely having contractions on our way there (the drive was literally only five minutes) and as soon as we got in the car, Biggie was playing (which is just way too perfect and fitting!) Pete asked the driver to turn it up, lololol.

We arrived at the hospital and got into a room right away to start getting checked out. The staff at St.Joe’s were beyond incredible. Since we ended up being there for a few days longer than expected, we were so lucky to be taken care of by the kindest people. I even remembered all their names and wrote them down so I can send them a little gift at Christmas from us and Otis! :) I cannot express how wonderful every person was.

Since I had ruptured, they checked to see how dilated I was and I was about 3 cm. From 11pm to 4am I was having steady (very painful) contractions and then was ready for my epidural (this was something I was planning to do if possible and I can’t picture the rest of my labour without it, especially considering how long it ended up lasting) Pete was an absolute champ throughout everything and was really helping me stay calm and get my breathing under control. No matter how much they try to prep you for labour and contractions, when the time comes it can be really tough to breathe naturally through them,

I had been told by lots of my Mom friends that if you do want an epidural to ask when you’re ready because there is a chance you may not get it depending how busy it is, and how far dilated your are. After asking, they were in our room so quick to administer it and get things going.

At this point my contractions carried on (and I didn’t even know they were happening at this point!) but they were far apart and I wasn’t getting as dilated as they had hoped. They started me on pitocin to try and get my contractions closer together and under control. Our O.B, doctor and nurses were SO attentive and were basically checking on me every 15-20 minutes from midnight until 6pm the next day (the 7th) It was a battle because every time they increased the dosage, Otis was not happy and his heart rate would drop. They were taking me on and off for hours to try to make progress and get me more dilated and ready for the pushing stage.

November 7th was the first snowfall of the season, and I remember having Pete open up the blinds for me to see the pretty snowflakes falling. I was just so happy. As people starting finding out we were in labour, so many people texted us about the snow and how it was a sign! We couldn’t agree more, our little Christmas snow baby would make his arrival on the first snow fall of the season (too perfect) and fitting.

At about noon on the 7th, our O.B told us that if the pitocin didn’t work and help us get more dilated, we’d be looking at a c-section. Of course when I first heard this I was scared and upset. But Pete and I didn’t have a super detailed birth plan. We basically said whatever we had to do to get our baby boy out safely and healthy was what we wanted to do, while keeping me safe too. I know women put so much pressure on themselves when it comes to the birth, breastfeeding and everything in between and I wanted us to be realistic about our expectations and do what was right for us and our baby boy. I was super glad they mentioned the c-section being a potential option early in the day so that we could mentally prepare for this. They were still confident they could try to get my contractions closer together and were willing to keep trying so long as both Otis and I were doing well.

We loved the nurses and staff so much and had so many funny conversations, talking about our star signs, my trendy glasses and everyone commenting on my Christmas socks (of course!) Everyone really helped us feel at home and I am forever thankful for that.

After hours and hours of regulating the medication, tracking my contractions and the babe’s heart beat, the doctor came in to see how dilated I was around 6:00pm - I was still only 5cm. She said “this is where we we have to stop and do a c-section” I felt scared but also knew this was the best thing to do to make sure our baby made a safe arrival into the world. I can’t express how important it is to be realistic about your birth plan and trust the people taking care of you. I never once doubted these incredible people for a second and knew this is what was meant to be for us. Pete was also so great and keeping me calm and reminding me this is what was best for the baby and me.

My Mom, Blair and Pete’s Mom were out grabbing dinner since we had no updates, and then Pete texted them with the news. This part all happened SO fast. At 6:00pm they made the call that a c- section would happen, and Otis arrived at 6:53pm. Woah!

Within minutes, they were wheeling me to the operating room. I was feeling really scared at this point, especially since Pete couldn’t be in the room until I was all prepped for the surgery. Everyone was really nice and making sure I knew what was going on and was okay. There were a lot of people in the room, all of which made me feel really comfortable and confident that everything would be okay. After hearing them prep me, test to make sure I couldn’t feel anything etc, Pete came back into the room and help my hand.

The anestiaslogist asked us if we wanted to listen to music, I just yelled “The Beatles” and it was all a blur and went by so fast, but I am pretty sure Day Tripper came on and The Beatles played as our babe arrived. The anesthetic gave me the chills really bad as they said it very well could. I was chattering uncontrollably and had bad pain in my shoulder as Otis arrived and for about an hour after so couldn’t hold him right away. I could hear them checking on him and everyone was updating me on his size, etc.

I asked Pete if he was okay and to show him to me and was just filled with so many emotions. Just balling as I saw our baby boy for the first time. The doctors were all checking him out, clearing his lungs etc to make sure all was okay. I lost a lot of blood during the c-section but they weren’t concerned and wanted us to just keep an eye on everything.

We got moved to a recovery room for about an hour and a bit right after, I remember another incredible nurse helping us and giving me a blanket to try and get my chills to stop. Pete was holding Otis and I was just so in awe of him. I remember thinking he was so cute and all the nurses were so sweet and said they loved his name and he was such a cute baby (I know they say that to everyone! lol)

People had such an incredible reaction to his name and we were so excited since we loved it so much!

Finally my chills stopped and I could hold our baby boy for the first time! Wow, what a moment that I will never forget. Thank goodness for Pete throughout this entire process, but especially those first few days as I was in a lot of pain and holding and caring for the babe was really really tough. Pete stepped it up and has truly been the most amazing Dad, and such a natural. I am so proud of him and wouldn’t expect anything less but he has truly blown me away.

Our family were anxiously waiting to meet Otis and we were waiting to see if we had a private room ready! They wheeled me in and Otis was in my arms and everyone was so excited. Everyone was dying to know the name (we kept it secret and did not tell anyone - would def recommend! it’s fun to keep it a surprise) Then we told everyone this was Otis James Whish and everyone gushed and snuggled him.

We started texting our family and friends the news and were so excited. This part was all a blur but so special and lots of happy tears. Since we had a c-section, this meant we were staying in the hospital a bit longer than expected, but we had a private room (also would 110% recommend this!) so we kind of posted up and got cozy in our room as we recovered and they made sure Otis was happy and healthy.

I was in a lot of pain during the hospital stay. The thought of getting up and even going to the washroom on my own felt impossible, and thinking about carrying our babe around felt so far away because everything hurt and I was moving really slow and did not want to over do it.

Once again, everyone was amazing and so helpful when checking on us. They had me start to breastfeed pretty much right away and thankfully Otis was a champ and pretty much latched instantly, so I feel really blessed because I know how much of a challenge and struggle this can be for so many women. We are still taking it day by day and I realize a lot can change so just staying optimistic.

Our days recovering in the hospital were hazey but beyond special. We spent most of the time looking at Otis and snuggling and kissing him, actually that’s what we still do all day now too. Pete would go to Roncey in the mornings to grab us bagels and coffee from a local spot (huge win and way better than hospital food) On the Friday night we were starving and wanted something delicious, so Pete went and got us Barque and we ate the most delicious chicken fingers (that I have ever had I swear), brussel sprouts and cucumber salad (a true test of how fast can we eat food before the baby wakes up) and it was a delight. Best! meal! ever!

The next few days were spent ensuring all of the testing went well with Otis, and checking in on me to make sure I was healing okay as well. We had a few more visitors at the hospital too which was so nice. My sister-in-law Linds brought our niece and nephew and it was too cute. Ivy is the proudest cousin ever and loved holding Otis. Pete’s Dad and his wife also came by to visit and meet Otis.

We had to check off a number of things before being ready to head home and at this point we were most definitely ready. My brother Joe picked us up from the hospital, and as we got in the car, Christmas music was playing (he felt this was most appropriate for Otis’ first car ride) SO CUTE I CAN’T. I will never forget that.

We were really excited and a bit nervous to get home. Since Otis was almost two weeks early, we didn’t quite have a fully stocked fridge or the place 110% ready. As we got home we already had a package waiting for us. Our amazing friends Zach and Amy had dropped us off a big bag of snacks and it was literally a life saver and the cutest, most thoughtful thing.

Pete instantly starting getting our house in order and ready for baby. The next few days, and beyond were filled with friends and family dropping off food, coffee, drinks and coming by to see Otis. I cannot believe how thoughtful and special every gesture was. We are forever thankful and this has definitely helped me understand what I can do to support new parents!

The first two weeks have been incredible. Emotional, exhausting and exciting but we are taking things one day at a time. I promised myself that if this baby arrived healthy and happy, I would do everything in my power to stay as positive as possible once he was here. There have been moments of anxiety, stress and worry and yes, we are very tired. But for every sleepless night, or stressful moment there are ten more incredible ones with Otis. We love him so much already and are just incredibly grateful. The proudest Mom and Dad ever.

The love I have for both Otis and Pete is never ending, my heart may explode.

I am looking forward to sharing more about my motherhood journey on this blog, and it’s extremely important to me to continue to be a positive presence online, especially for those who are about to be parents, are trying to be parents, or are new or defeated parents.

Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, and that is okay but I am choosing to highlight the incredible moments that parenthood brings, as I feel I did not see enough of this online during our pregnancy. I will share the good and the bad, but am looking forward to really taking on parenthood in a positive light and I hope you’ll join me on this new adventure!

We are so thankful for the love and support we have received during pregnancy and our first few weeks of parenthood. So grateful and full of love!