Wow, I can’t believe it. I’ve been a Mom for two months! In some ways it’s gone by in a flash, and in some it feels like Otis has been around forever. It’s hard to even remember life before our baby boy, and believe it or not being pregnant feels like SO long ago. I wrote Otis’ birth story a few weeks back as well in case you missed it.

I wrote a post while I was still pregnant about the stigma around parenthood and how I really felt their was a lack of positive messages from parents online and in real life. People really tend to focus on the negative, stressful and frustrating parts of parenting. The sleepless nights, the dirty diapers and the change of your lifestyle. And while all those things are a big part of being a parent, there is SO much more to it and it’s damn good.

While we were pregnant, I did my fair share of research on the birth, parenting and everything in between. Although I will say I mostly just leaned on my amazing group of friends and family who are already mothers. There is so much information out there, enough to drive you crazy and overthink and stress about literally every single part of being pregnant, giving birth and parenthood. Our birth story is a great example of how you can’t rely too hard on having an exact plan, because anything can happen. For us, having our baby arrive to the world safe and sound was most important thing.

So, how has it been so far? In short, really damn good. My heart is so full it might literally burst, and I know Pete and our families feel the same way. We are so in love with Otis. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies, but when I look back on the past two months those are the moments I remember most.

I remember so clearly the first few days of being home with our boy. There was a lot of fear and questioning every little move. I cannot believe how much more comfortable and confident Pete and I both feel as parents since then. It feels like we’ve gained years worth of knowledge and gotten to understand what works best for our baby (because this part is so important to parenting!)

The first three weeks are definitely rough. They are draining physically and emotionally and you spend your days hoping you’re doing all this right, trying to figure out how you can sleep and where and how your baby will sleep. These babes spend close to ten months inside your womb being rocked, cozy and warm and content. Trying to get them to sleep alone in a cold bassinet without a blanket when they’re one week old is (in my opinion) unrealistic.

The nights were really rough. For me, this was by far the hardest, darkest part of postpartum life. We would spend our days in our jammies, cozy on the couch with blankets, just literally staring at our little babe. We were so in awe (and still are!) and would just take in every moment. Even though it was the end of fall and feeling like winter, having the bright days was just so wonderful. Every night as it started to get dark (even before 5:00pm a lot of the days!) the anxiety would start. It was just so hard to know what to expect and how things would go each night, and when you’re so exhausted it can really make you anxious.

As the days and nights passed, we tried all sorts of different things to find out what worked. We are still not in a set routine since Otie is still so young. There are some small things we’ve done since day one like keeping it light during the day and into the early evening and dark in the night so he knows the difference. Getting used to having baths (he’s starting to not hate them which is a huge win!) etc. I am very lucky that breastfeeding has gone really well from the start and Otis latched while we were still in the hospital. I know that this is something that a lot of new moms worry about, me included.

Things have gotten so much better and so far (knock on wood), Otis has been such an amazing sleeper. For the past month or so he has been sleeping four hour stretches and just waking to feed. Some nights even five hours (omg!) what a dream. And don’t get me wrong, there have been some nights where he’s really fussy and crying so much that it seems like nothing works. When this happens we tag team it. We take turns rocking Otis, try swaddling him (he hates it, lol), put him in his vibrating chair, put music on and dance with him, try him in his snuggle me organic and literally everything and anything in between.

There are a bunch of things that have made these first two months of motherhood a bit easier and a smoother transition, but the biggest one for me has been getting out of the house. Pete had a few weeks off work which was incredible and I don’t know what I would have done without him. As we got closer to him getting ready to go back to work, I started feeling really sad and anxious and wasn’t sure how it would be without him around. His last few days at home, I took Otis out on my own even for just a half hour to go get a coffee or go to the grocery store. It was important for me to know I could feel comfortable taking the stroller out, taking the streetcar etc.

Since Otis was one week old I’ve been taking him out shopping, walking and going out and about in Toronto and it’s helped my mental health so much. It helps break up the day, it gives me an excuse to get both me and Otis dressed for the day and for me to put on a bit of makeup and do my hair. It helps us both get some fresh air, and helps me get some exercise. I most definitely recommend getting out if you can, a few times a week even if it’s just for a fifteen minute walk.

Pete and I always make fun plans on our weekends together to make sure we always have something to look forward to (another thing that helps during postpartum and overall happiness in my opinion) and we’re loving taking O to all of our favourite spots in the city (for coffee, shopping and even brunch!)

Here are a few other things that have really got us through the first two months of parenthood; so much coffee (we bought a new really awesome coffee maker that helped!) with bailey’s is always good too, watching lots of episodes of queer eye while sobbing, going on adventures around queen west, listening to good music, figuring out how to wear my solly baby wrap, watching the women’s network all hours of the day, the fact that it was christmas time (what a dream), a glass of wine here and there, the baby tracker app to track breastfeeding, the snuggle me organic bed, staying positive with the best husband ever.

You’re in this together, so really working with your partner is so huge. Pete has been the most incredible Dad ever, I cry just thinking of it. When I have moments of weakness or feel sad/defeated, Pete is right there being positive and supportive. There are moments where you don’t know what to do, when your baby is fussy or crying and you don’t know how to help them. But if there’s one thing I can assure you about parenthood, the positive moments with your little one by far out weigh the stressful ones. When I look back at the past two months, I remember the special moments that happen every single day with our little babe.

It’s tough to know how the next while will go, with changes and leaps happening every week. One thing we will continue to do is focus on the positives no matter what. We’ve got a beautiful, healthy baby boy so in the end, that’s all that really matters.

Time to go snuggle my smiley, two month old cutie pie! Life is good.